A Father's Heartbreak
My son Eph posted this 'note' on Facebook so I took the liberty of posting it here in my blog. It's a letter to his son which he read during Elijah's services last Thursday, January 22, 2009 at Forest Lawn Mortuary in Cypress, California.
My Dearest Elijah,
From the moment I laid eyes upon you, I knew you were my son. You have Daddy’s big head and Mommy’s crooked pinky. You have your Lolo Jun’s nose and your Lolo Rey’s feet … and most of all you showed everyone that you have both your Lola Dona’s & Lola Chitoc’s fighting spirit. Yup, you are definitely my son.
I just wanted to tell you how extremely proud I am of you for putting up the fight that you did. When the doctors told us that you wouldn’t survive the delivery, well you just stuck your tongue out at them didn’t you? You’re such a willful child, just like your Mom when she was younger. So much so that you hung in there just long enough for your Mom and Me to hang out with you for a few precious days. Believe me when I tell you that having you in my life for just two days is worth more than a million of my lifetimes without you in it.
I’d be lying though if I told you that I wasn’t miserable that you’re still not here. I thought about all the things we’re gonna miss together. Your first smile … your first words. Your first day at school … your first A+ in math (with help from your Uncle Aldrich of course). I’m gonna miss out on watching you grow into being a fine young man, and breaking the girls hearts just like your old man used to. I won’t be there to kiss your boo-boo’s, and you won’t be here to soothe the ache my heart feels every moment you’re not here with us.
You must be having an awesome time up there in heaven though. Rest easy son. No more tubes … no more respirators. No more incubator, no more loud machines, no more doctors, no more nurses. I know that you have a lot of babysitters taking care of you up there. Please say Hi to you’re your Apu Sir, Apu Sang, Apung Mary and Apu Goding. And also say Hi to your Lolo Amon, Lola Fising and Lola Baring. Tell them we miss them and we’re thinking about them. While you’re at it, please say Hi to Jesus for us and don’t forget to put in a good word in for Me and your Mom.
Oh my little Elijah, Daddy has to say bye-bye for now. Don’t worry … don’t cry … you, Mommy and I will all be together again one day. I really wish you could’ve stuck around for just a little longer, but God is calling you to come home now.
My son, mere words cannot express how much Mommy and Daddy love and miss you. Know that I’ve loved you since before you were born. I love you now, I love you still and I love you always.
Until we meet again ….
Dad
My Dearest Elijah,
From the moment I laid eyes upon you, I knew you were my son. You have Daddy’s big head and Mommy’s crooked pinky. You have your Lolo Jun’s nose and your Lolo Rey’s feet … and most of all you showed everyone that you have both your Lola Dona’s & Lola Chitoc’s fighting spirit. Yup, you are definitely my son.
I just wanted to tell you how extremely proud I am of you for putting up the fight that you did. When the doctors told us that you wouldn’t survive the delivery, well you just stuck your tongue out at them didn’t you? You’re such a willful child, just like your Mom when she was younger. So much so that you hung in there just long enough for your Mom and Me to hang out with you for a few precious days. Believe me when I tell you that having you in my life for just two days is worth more than a million of my lifetimes without you in it.
I’d be lying though if I told you that I wasn’t miserable that you’re still not here. I thought about all the things we’re gonna miss together. Your first smile … your first words. Your first day at school … your first A+ in math (with help from your Uncle Aldrich of course). I’m gonna miss out on watching you grow into being a fine young man, and breaking the girls hearts just like your old man used to. I won’t be there to kiss your boo-boo’s, and you won’t be here to soothe the ache my heart feels every moment you’re not here with us.
You must be having an awesome time up there in heaven though. Rest easy son. No more tubes … no more respirators. No more incubator, no more loud machines, no more doctors, no more nurses. I know that you have a lot of babysitters taking care of you up there. Please say Hi to you’re your Apu Sir, Apu Sang, Apung Mary and Apu Goding. And also say Hi to your Lolo Amon, Lola Fising and Lola Baring. Tell them we miss them and we’re thinking about them. While you’re at it, please say Hi to Jesus for us and don’t forget to put in a good word in for Me and your Mom.
Oh my little Elijah, Daddy has to say bye-bye for now. Don’t worry … don’t cry … you, Mommy and I will all be together again one day. I really wish you could’ve stuck around for just a little longer, but God is calling you to come home now.
My son, mere words cannot express how much Mommy and Daddy love and miss you. Know that I’ve loved you since before you were born. I love you now, I love you still and I love you always.
Until we meet again ….
Dad
posted by reyjay @ 7:53 PM
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