A CONSPIRACY OF LIES AND HALF-TRUTHS

Yes, it’s been a while but you have to understand I’ve just experienced one of the highlights of my life so I have to savor each and every moment of it and posting on my blog is sort of low on my list of priorities.

In April of 1993, Donna pulled one of the biggest surprises of my life by throwing a 40th birthday party for me. She did it with help from friends, hiding it from me somehow with white lies and half-truths.

This past month was even a bigger surprise as most of you know by now. Let me paint you a quick scenario. You see, we’ve been married 30 years and this year would have been the first time that we’d celebrate it apart with her in the US while I’m here in the Philippines having our home built. We were just somehow going to say our vows over the phone or something ‘hi-techie’ like that.

The first half truth was when she told me two people at her work are on vacation, one of whom will quit a couple of days when she comes back. Their schedule has already been drafted for the months of April and May and that there’s no way Cindi, her boss would let her go on vacation. I came over with a round trip ticket and it has an open date going back to the States so I thought of going back to the States for our Anniversary.

The 2nd half truth: I was discouraged by Kong Naring and Armin not to go because we’re at a point in the construction where my presence is critical for decisions only I or Donna can make. She’s already told them to prevent me from going by any means because she’s got a flight booked to come here by that time.

I told my niece Jack I’ll treat them for dinner for my birthday Sunday April 30. I was going to take my construction team out for dinner the Saturday before but Kong Naring convinced me to have his wife cook and have the party at their place in Masamat. This way we can expect a much better attendance from them.

The first lie: Jack told me she had to take me to a wedding of a friend before we can proceed to the dinner Sunday night. This ‘friend’ is supposedly from London trying to save money by having her wedding here. It’s a close friend so Jack must attend the wedding. I questioned her why I had to go with her since Remy is going with her. I don’t remember getting a sufficient answer for that. I think I got the usual, “A basta tuki ka.” Which basically translates to, “You have to go!” Yup, just like that. But she insisted that I have to wear some kind of formal type pants and a shirt. I said I can probably put on the pants for my suit but it may not fit since I got it in Japan at the time that I’ve lost the most weight so it may not fit me anymore. She hurriedly went down stairs to her room and took it and ordered (yes, ordered!) me to try it on. Silly me – I did! I’ve forgotten that my diet here isn’t exactly conducive to gaining weight. The pants still fit me perfectly, in which she chided me, “Now you don’t have a reason not to go!” She even chose the pair of shoes and shirt that would match my outfit.

A couple of days before, I’ve decided to ‘harvest’ my hair for donation with Remy pushing the right button, “Yes Uncle, so you’ll have a new look on your birthday!”

The 2nd lie: Jack and Remy told me they’ve already gone to church Saturday evening April 29 so I’ll have to go on my own Sunday. After church, they were all gone so I text’d them asking where they were and who’ll go with me to the salon. Donna called me and asked if I’ve received the flowers she sent. I told her no I haven’t seen any flowers. When I went upstairs, the first thing I noticed was that my towel was hung different. Then I saw the flowers on the bed. I asked Jack where the flowers came from. She said, “Why don’t you read the card?” I figured Donna had them sent. The 3rd lie: Jack said she’s in Sta. Rita with a ‘friend’. All this time, they’ve already been furiously making preparations, making arrangements for the flowers, having the wedding gown steamed, etc. The church and the venue for the reception have been booked – all without my knowledge of course. Finally Jack came and she dragged me to one of her many ‘Aunties’ in Guagua and got my haircut. I was able to get 13” for the donation, by the way. The minimum is only 10”. When we got back to the house I thought it was odd that Remy had a digital video cam in my face asking me how it feels to have a hair cut on my birthday, etc.

I told Ate Pie to go to the wedding with Jack in my place but here comes the 4th lie: She said she and her gang are going to ‘school’ that afternoon (something she cannot miss) and they’ll just have to meet us at A La Crème for dinner later.

After lunch a couple of Jack’s friends came, Seng and someone named Rizalina whom I’ve never met before. Seng was going to go to some function in San Fernando but on the way, she mentioned twice that she may just go with us and postpone her plans till later. Jack was driving her pick up and I noticed her slowing down while sending text messages at the same time. I offered to drive since she’s so busy with texting. The last lie: they said before going to her friend’s wedding we’re going to drop off Rizalina to Pilar Village and she can just join us later. I even told them I knew Father Cito the parish priest of Pilar Village. We were there during his church’s blessing by the Bishop, Father Aniceto. Jack kept on getting ‘lost’ to wherever she was going to drop her friend off, all the while not stopping sending text messages. When we turned one corner, I realized we were at the church, then I saw Jack’s boyfriend Jake. He’s the guy who couldn’t make it to Jack’s friend’s wedding and our dinner because of some family commitment. I thought there was something fishy going on when a couple of guys with cameras approached our vehicle and started video taping me, taking pictures of every move I make. Then Jake came and ushered me to the back of the church and had me change into a barong. AND THE REST IS HISTORY!!